To Whom It May Concern: Make Anxiety Your B!tch
Ever wonder why this time of year, things start to FLY?
The excitement of moving toward the holiday season–so many gatherings and reasons to celebrate.
The exhilarating (sometimes crushing) speed of Q4, year-end.
Oh and apparently we blinked and the decade is also coming to a close so there's that. HELLO Vata Season!
Ayurveda is the science of vibration and offers ways to address the health of our minds/bodies/hearts by introducing balance according to the shifts we experience with each season.
The change of seasons represents shifts in the elemental vibrations.
Fall/early winter is Vata Season where we shift from the fiery element of summer into the element of air. We can feel the fast moving energy starting with the back to school blustery vibe straight through the holidays and rush into the New Year. Vata Season is dry and cold but exciting. The upward moving energy gives us access to creative flow and powerful momentum. That's her high side. The challenging vibration of Vata's fast moving energy is anxiety.
Tis the season where we are most susceptible to fall into anxiety's grasp so let's talk about our relationship to it.
Since we know it creeps up in all different forms and fashions, a great place to start with your relationship to anxiety is to inquire- approach it with loving curiosity.
Ask it why it's here. Ask what it came to teach you.
And then, tell every cell of your being that it's safe to sit with the anxiety. And then really be with it, hold it even closer, examine the timing of when it arrives, where it comes to live in your body, how it reacts to just a few moments of stillness and quiet. If it's like mine- the quiet allows you to feel the speed at which your heart rate is flying through your chest. The quiet allows you to hear the voice even more loudly. The one that's screaming there will never be enough hours in the day or week or month or quarter or year. The one shouting that everyone else on the planet is more productive than you. That everyone else manages their home/bills/work/kids/dating/health/sanity/travel endlessly better than you do. That surviving another week in the wheel is the best you can hope for.
Because if your anxiety is anything like mine, the still and the quiet (even for a moment) makes it worse. LOUDER.
Anxiety: "How can you just sit there when you're already not doing enough?? There are emails to be flagged, laundry that's growing mold and so many 'to do' lists to make so that you don't forget just how much still isn't done."
The psychotic loop. It's a whole thing. And just like that, you're anxiety's bitch. Again. Don't have time/money for a therapist? I've been there too. Even if the excuses I made sounded different than yours.
What do you do?
Reclaim 10 minutes of your life, grab a journal and pay attention to the answers that come up.
TEN. MINUTES.
What if you flipped the dynamic of the relationship you have with anxiety? What if instead of being her bitch, you mothered her gently?
Where there is anxiety, there is fear.
What if you ask her what she's scared of? What if you stayed with her long enough to to find out where the fear is coming from?
Who is she afraid that she's failing? Is she afraid she might be seen as the one who can't hack it in the big job she climbed into, as a mother, or a goddamn immortal? When did she decide she had to prove herself? When did she decide that being a martyr was more heroic than being well?
What if you told your anxiety that you see her? That you want to know why she's here and what she came to teach you. What if you learned where she came from and found that at her core, she is actually your deepest desires? What if she represents your big excitement but somewhere along the way, became overwhelmed with fear and shadowed with the belief that you aren't worthy of those desires?
You guys, the best remedy for anxiety is RADICAL self-love.
The kind of love that says, "You are so worthy of freedom from this hostage situation, that I will take time to understand it. Learn how you are meant to alchemize the anxiety into excitement and momentum - the kind that propels you toward your desires."
During this process (and season), I use ALL the Vata soothing secrets! Since anxiety is a manifestation of fast, upward-moving energy, we soothe it with it's opposite: creating slow, downward moving energy.
This is called grounding. Here's a list of my grounding go-tos:
Eat...warm, wet soothing foods–read: soup–balance the cold, dryness of Vata. A current fave is this one from Chef Bai. Food with roots, as in anything from the earth encourages grounding. And lastly, warming spices like turmeric, cumin and saffron are perfect for balancing the cold, dry characteristics of the season.
Practice...exercises focused on strength are ideal this time of year. Incorporate anything that builds heat from a deep, grounded place
Stillness...it's good time to start or get back to your meditation practice to quiet the chaos. This short meditation does just that, guiding you to find the stillness within. And if you're not there yet (which is MORE than okay!) 5 minutes of quiet while you write down what you are grateful for will work wonders too.
Ritual...this is hands-down most important tool I have during this season when anxieties tend to run high. Ritual is creating consistency. And it's the most grounding practice in my life, which isn't easy because it doesn't come naturally to me. This time of year we are doing a million extra things–traveling, holiday festivities and lists to check twice.
So while we are showing up extra for everything else, it's also the time to be accountable for the commitments we've made to ourselves.
Ritual doesn't have to be the exact same thing every day. My ritual is fluid in that it honors what I need differently today vs. yesterday but it's a non-negotiable. One day it might be a work out, another day it might look like turning music on and making a vat of soup so that I have something healthy and soothing to warm up when things get hectic. Some times, it's just 5 seconds of writing down what I'm grateful for. What matters is that it happens.
And it allows me to show up more fully in this season rather than race through it like an adrenaline junkie.
This is your Sunday reminder to be accountable for the commitments you make to yourself. I promise those are more important than most things on all your to-do lists.
Because when you honor your commitment to show up to life from a grounded place, you get clear on what actually belongs on those lists in the first place.
xx Kelly
Want some help in figuring out how to manage your anxiety this season? Respond to this note and we'll talk more about practices that will empower you to alchemize of your anxiousness into momentum toward your potential.